Gripe Fest

Tonight, I sit reading a friend's blog and realize I haven't updated my blog since April 25th. On April 25th, I had a child heading to the Citadel after he graduated...but now he's not going because I can't afford for him to go. Jamie and I visited a bankruptcy attorney last week, but he doesn't feel we have enough "debt" to warrant filing bankruptcy. But, I found a website called rentpurchase.com which I am gonna call-- soon as I get the money to do so. My 18 yr old is still not driving because his dad doesn't take him enough, and because I have a panic attack every time I try to ride with him! I just wish I could come up with the $300 I need for someone else to teach him. And then we will have to get insurance and a car for him... It always comes back to money. I am loving my new job! But I am starting to hear nurses who started orientation with me grumble and complain! They need to work a week at Unihealth and then they would appreciate this place better!!!! (Was reminded tonight that I have passed the 90 day mark) I have discovered I am making about $400-500 less per pay check, which might be why I am struggling to make ends meet! I am missing almost a thousand a month! But what I lose in money, I gain in sanity. On the flip side, I am thinking of looking for a part-time job close to home.. I mean I do have a few days off during the week. But then again, I will start back to school Aug 14th, so maybe I shouldn't add anything else to my basket right now. Of course, if I could just pay the rest of the tuition I owe the school, I could get my diploma and start working as a teacher of Literature. But, too, I am scared to death to start a new career this late in my life, especially one where I would make so much less than I already am making. I am looking forward to registering Brandon for 11th grade and Ryan for the 8th grade. WOW, we only have 5 more years with our kids in school. TIMMY (now 20 yrs old) has applied at Dept of Corrections, for the corrections academy. Freaks me out a little, cause I know how dangerous that job can be. Funny, I never worried bout Jamie, but scares me to have my child in there...I never was scared to work in the prisons myself, either...but He's my child...that makes a big difference. Anyway, he's waiting to hear from them. I HOPE ITS sooner than later because hes making no money at his current job. I Worry bout them so far away from home... AND THEN THERE IS CHRIS!!!! I become negative when it comes to him most of all. I know i have let him down so bad, but I cant afford $18,000 out of pocket for a year! And he still has 2% body fat to lose so he can enlist. I just feel like he's not motivated to leave home. He doesnt work or anything!!!! Oh well, I need to go get some work done...This as usual has been a great Gripe Fest... maybe thats what i need to rename this blog to!